So I do hope that you took those questions and you practiced them on someone.
Remember unless you put these practices into practice then you're never going to appreciate how effective
they can actually be.
Now if you were paying attention in that last conversation with Karen you might have picked up on a
few occasions where she gave reference to our confidence our confidence as a person what it would like
to share with you here is one of these one of these little nuggets of life and this is that you know
some people assume that they either have confidence or they don't have confidence kind of like as a
tangible thing that we either fully half or that we don't fully half what I'm going to suggest is that
there are three levels three areas in our life where we're impacted by our confidence right and so on
one level and people will either be confident or not confident in who they are as individuals.
And what I'm talking about here is the confidence that we have in our core identity i.e. the truth of
who we are when a person isn't fully confident in the truth of who they are they are going to most likely
clutching at straws and be desperate to find validation from external sources sometimes through acceptance
of other people through acceptance and validation that comes through their performance and and so on
so forth.
Then people are impacted on a confidence level and their ability to learn to solve problems.
No I think gave an example earlier on when I was in school I was called dyslexic and I had this label
passed and placed on me.
These days children aren't labeled dyslexic anymore and have created invented another 20 different labels
and in 20 years from now all the labels that currently exist will most likely have been replaced with
other things as human beings we have a tendency of allowing these labels don't we.
What I'm gonna suggest is though when individuals are not competent and grounded and secure in who they
are they will embrace whatever labels come their way.
And this often comes to the detriment of the progressive they go on to make in their life.
So when a person is not confident in their ability to learn and solve problems there's pretty high chance
that they are not going to ever step outside the comfort zone and actually take risks to pursue the
things that they ultimately want to pursue.
Can't give a great example of this and that last conversation where when she was younger she would kind
of hide away shy away in the background she wouldn't boldly and confidently communicate openly and honestly
and she wouldn't share of herself and all of this is due to confidence.
How confident we are and who we are on our intrinsic value in all of this stuff I'm going to be unpacking
with you and quite a lot of death in the later seconds of the course because this is life.
This is what coaching people in life is all about helping people to become confident and secure in who
they are become confident and secure and grounded in their ability to learn and solve poor problems.
And once we are grounded in those two areas will the skills we go on to develop and just pretty much
becomes the icing on the cake.
All right which is the third area in which we are impacted on a confidence level in our ability to perform
on produce.
So that's a little bit of context for what I'm going to come onto here.
What I want to discuss here just give you a little bit of insight into are the core learning styles
that people have.
Some people might refer to them as learning preferences and commonly.
What happens is in our schooling system in the educational establishments off the worlds there are some
norm learning styles all right and many teachers and many educators don't always fully appreciate this
VaR model and this is the fact that people learn in different ways.
Now I think I mentioned earlier on that I have quite a unique way of learning so I actually learn more
effectively by speaking things out or by practicing all right whereas some people will learn from reading
a book or watching a documentary or looking at a powerpoint.
One of the reasons why I teach the way that I do I'm generally quite energetic.
I like to integrate quite a lot of emotion intimate teaching.
I like to keep things relatively entertaining.
All right.
Being the operative word and just not rigid and boring.
Why.
Because I understand that different people prefer different levels of engagement.
Some people like to be engaged with on a visual level.
And the reason I don't just stand here rigidly reading off our PowerPoint in a boring monotone voice
is a pretty good chance if that was how I'd been free up until now.
You would have turned me off already.
All right.
So people engage with information more through an auditory means and what I'm talking about here is
some people will happily listen to podcasts or they'll just be listening to the audio.
MP three versions of these lectures they don't need to watch on.
Whereas other people who operate more than a kinesthetic or who learn more can aesthetically.
Yes they might engage on some level through reading and writing and watching PowerPoint but what they
are looking for is the overall experience.
All right so a little bit of visual a little bit of auditory but then once you get a feel for what's
going on through relating to that which they are hearing now it tell you these things because coaching
and although it's not formal teaching quite a lot of education will be going on through the coaching
process.
So it's important that as life coaches that we understand the different ways that people engage with
ideas information and fundamentally how they retain ideas information or insights.
All right.
So scientists and psychologists have identified these number of ways that people retain and learn information
vivid visual auditory through reading writing and also as that.
So when I create a course such as this I want to engage with people in four different levels visually.
We want to make the courses as visually appealing as what we can do and acknowledging that they are
just visual based courses.
So we're not going to have special effects and robots jumping on the screen and aliens popping out and
flash bangs or that kind of stuff it's just a training course but we want to make as visually engaging
as possible auditory.
I want to make sure that I have some emotion coming through in my vocabulary as I'm speaking I don't
just want to be speaking in a monotone voice.
Plus the flip side of this coin is I genuinely passionate about coaching people in life and I'm genuinely
passionate about helping you alongside everyone else who's taken this course to understand these ideas
so you can get it there and pragmatism so we can make a difference because I subscribe to the teach
a man to teach other people how to fish so that together we can end world hunger.
So guess what even this course is part of my own personal legacy.
All right you catch what I'm cooking.
Are you hearing me.
Are you feeling me.
Are you getting the grips of what I'm saying.
Because if so who might be the case that you're a bit of a kinesthetic learner.
All right.
So every learning style responds best to different methods of teaching or rights or communicating or
engagement.
So what this means for us as life coaches is we've got to gauge the response that we are getting from
our clients or those people that we are working with.
If we are just asking questions in a monotone voice and if you've ever been to a conventional therapist
or a conventional counsellor you're most likely Oh yeah that this is how some counsellors are helping
the therapists talk and in time people think that they're genuinely having a therapeutic experience
but they're not.
They just fall asleep because they're bored senseless and that's it.
And that's not what I'm trying to do here or no I want to keep you engaged to engage with your mind
and to engage with your understandings you can get this stuff and ultimately go on to apply it.
What I'm saying is here is good to gauge the responses that we get.
There's an idea and this is that and the meaning of cue communications can be found through the responses
we get.
So say for example a client is just really close to us well we could say this clients really will be
closed.
They're not open.
They don't meet the standard that you mentioned earlier on care and therefore I'm going to be close
to them or we can ask ourselves slightly more effective questions right.
This client is closed.
What part are my playing in this home I'm responsible for this.
How might I be responsible for this home might only be influencing this client negatively.
Right now am I engaging communicating with his client in a way that just isn't right for them and in
which case if we do find that we've got a bit of a stand off and a coaching relationship the best thing
we can do as quickly as possible is just simply use this as a counselling skill actually called immediacy
was it all.
I'm just sensing that something not working here.
Right.
I'm just wondering if you'd be happy to have a conversation about this so we can figure out how it is
that I can communicate in a way that you're going to be able to receive better.
That's going to be it's just going to be better for you.
And then we get we give our client opportunity to give us some feedback.
So what I'm saying is we want to understand this.
All right.
We can't just assume that we're going to be able to engage with every single claim that comes our way.
And we also can assume that our communications style is going to work with all people because it won't
because all people are different.
So in the early stages of the relationship especially when we're laying the foundations and getting
the trust down if we sense there's a bit of resistance or hesitation of a client's holding back or if
they're getting angry towards us if there's a bit of a power struggle going on we acknowledge it right
in session one or session two so we can move beyond it and in some more meaningful things.
But if we do experience resistance or hesitation or or aggro or something like this is going to most
likely nine times out of ten B because we're not communicating with them in the way that they need us
to communicate with them.
He with me makes sense.
Very very simple idea.
But I just wanted to build the of this stage off the core so you find this interesting and I'll see
you again in the next clip.